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14 July 2010 @ 12:29 am
Surprise, Surprise (1/1)  
Title: Surprise, Surprise
Author: somehowunbroken 
Fandom: SGA
Pairing: John/Evan
Word count: 741
Rating/warnings: PG/tiny swear word
Disclaimer: Not mine. If it were, there would be a lot more lovin' on the show.
Summary: Rodney thinks nothing John can do will surprise him. For kissbingo : "to shut them up."

“You’d be surprised,” John said, idly playing with one of the tools Rodney wasn’t using.

“By you?” Rodney snorted. “Unlikely. I think I’m pretty unflappable,” he said, picking up a tool John couldn’t identify and using to poke the device he also couldn’t identify. “I mean, we’ve seen a lot of crazy stuff out here, right? I was a part of the SGC on Earth, sure, but we didn’t see much crazy stuff there. I was just a consultant there, anyway, not really there all that often, and then I got sent to Russia and nothing crazy happens in Russia.” He paused to take a breath.

John just rolled his eyes. Rodney was in one of those moods.

“Well, I mean, I guess crazy stuff happens in Russia all the time,” Rodney continued, oblivious to John’s reaction. “But not in Siberia. Well, probably in Siberia, too, just not where I was in Siberia. Or when. I don’t know. But nothing crazy happened while I was in Siberia.” He gave the tool a vicious twist, and something popped inside the device. A triumphant look crossed his face as he pulled the tool out.

“Anyway, nothing ever really happened at the SGC that I’d consider crazy.” He picked up the device, turned it around, and frowned down at it. “Well, there was that one time I saw Teal’c in a Speedo, but I think I’m more likely to file that one under emotionally distressing than crazy.”

John agreed. Mentally, of course; he knew better than to interrupt Rodney during a rant like this.

“But then, then, I get this invitation one day. Sam Carter shows up in Russia – okay, maybe that’s a crazy thing happening, her coming looking for me – and she’s talking about wormhole physics and I’m correcting her, but then she tells me about Jackson’s theory about Atlantis, about the eighth symbol, and would I like to go if they can get the wormhole open, and I’m no idiot, so of course I said yes.”

John wasn’t about to point out that Rodney might be a genius with more PhDs than any one person had the right to have, but he clearly had an issue with run-on sentences.

“So then I’m here, and okay, that was pretty crazy, just coming here. And then the city was underwater – crazy.” Rodney turns the device over again, picking up another tool and waving it over the device. “And then we meet life sucking space vampires – crazy.” The device lit up briefly, then flared out. “Actually, the Wraith might count as two crazies, because let’s face it, they’re insane.”

Apparently crazy had some sort of definable quantity in Rodney’s book, John surmised. Although if it did, the Wraith probably were good for at least two.

“And then, in the first few months of being here, we find out that the gene therapy works, we get caught halfway through a wormhole while you,” he said, gesturing towards John, “are being eaten by a space bug, we find a planet full of children intent on killing themselves, meet the Nazi Space Amish people, and manage to somehow weather a storm the likes of which should have killed us all.”

John jumped when Evan spoke into his ear. He hadn’t heard the other man come in. “How long’s he been going on like this?”

“A while,” John replied. “He’s trying to convince me that nothing can surprise him any more because of all the crazy shit he’s seen since getting here.”

“I happen to believe it,” Rodney sniffed. “Especially with you. You’re so predictable, you know, all ‘I’m the hero’ and ‘save the world’ and ‘I don’t need help with this.’ Well, you are perhaps the least likely to surprise me out of everyone here!” Rodney emphasized his exclamation with a poke of the tool he was holding towards John.

John raised his eyebrow. “That a fact?”

Rodney nodded. “It is, indeed, a fact. I doubt there’s anything you could do that would shock me any more.”

John turned around, grabbed Evan by the front of his vest, and kissed him long and hard. When he pulled back, Evan was grinning, and John leaned in for another quick kiss before turning to Rodney, who was staring, mouth wide open, at the pair. John settled his arm casually around Evan’s waist.

Rodney made a strangled noise in the back of his throat.

“It would appear that I was mistaken.”
(Deleted comment)
Kisomehowunbroken on July 14th, 2010 07:26 am (UTC)
He was silent for a little while. I count that as a win, especially when he's in this kind of mood :)
theeverdreamtheeverdream on July 14th, 2010 10:02 am (UTC)
Heheheee yay!
Kisomehowunbroken on July 14th, 2010 10:15 am (UTC)
*grin* When you mentioned that this prompt would be perfect for Rodney, I agreed, but my mind is stuck in a Lorne/Sheppard place right now (totally not complaining, though) so came up with this :)
theeverdreamtheeverdream on July 16th, 2010 11:02 am (UTC)
At that time I did have it in mind Rodney being the one kissed, but I think this is even more perfect.
Kisomehowunbroken on July 16th, 2010 11:05 am (UTC)
I find it hard to jump on the McShep bandwagon... to each his/her own, I suppose. :)
clwilson2006clwilson2006 on July 14th, 2010 10:47 am (UTC)
And here was me, thinking it would be Rodney getting kissed!
John and Evan putting on a show!

(and damn you write quick!)
Kisomehowunbroken on July 14th, 2010 10:59 am (UTC)
Thanks dear :)

Yeah, I have nothing else to do at the moment... I'm a teacher, and we're on summer break, and I don't have a summer job, so... I'm writing. It's really wonderful. Although I'm thinking I should slow down, because seriously, I totalled it up today and I've written somewhere around 30,000 words in the past seven days, and that's just ridiculous.

(Also, I'm commenting back while writing part of The Space Between. It's like an addiction.)
immertreu: Kavan2immertreu on July 14th, 2010 01:23 pm (UTC)
LOL I knew where it would end, but the ending still surprised me and made me laugh out loud! :)
Kisomehowunbroken on July 14th, 2010 01:30 pm (UTC)
Glad you enjoyed it!
rivulet027rivulet027 on July 14th, 2010 04:20 pm (UTC)
Kisomehowunbroken on July 14th, 2010 11:10 pm (UTC)
Thanks :)
(Deleted comment)
Kisomehowunbroken on July 14th, 2010 11:11 pm (UTC)
hehe thanks! John's always up for a challenge :)
saphirablue on July 14th, 2010 08:58 pm (UTC)
*lol* Yeah, even Rodney can still be surprised! :)

I enjoyed your ficlet - thank you! :)
Kisomehowunbroken on July 14th, 2010 11:11 pm (UTC)
Thanks! I'm sure John has a few more surprises he can pull out to shut Rodney up... we shall see :)
sherry57sherry57 on July 16th, 2010 01:49 pm (UTC)
You’re so predictable, you know, all ‘I’m the hero’ and ‘save the world’ and ‘I don’t need help with this.’ Well, you are perhaps the least likely to surprise me out of everyone here!....“It would appear that I was mistaken." Oh this was sooo good, sooooo funny! Loved it, thanks.
Kisomehowunbroken on July 16th, 2010 02:13 pm (UTC)
Thanks :)
spacedogflspacedogfl on July 16th, 2010 03:43 pm (UTC)
"...but he clearly had an issue with run-on sentences." - loved it!
Kisomehowunbroken on July 17th, 2010 12:22 am (UTC)
Hehe thanks :) You know Rodney when he's in one of those moods...
fangirl29fangirl29 on July 23rd, 2010 01:08 am (UTC)
great writing!
OK, so I'm on summer break too and all this free time is driving me crazy! I've been a devoted SG1 J/D lurker/reader for about 10 years! Can you believe it? However, yesterday, for some bizarre reason I had a hankering for SGA-which has never happened because I'm not a McShep lover at all. But, but, but...I fell in love with Major Lorne the first time I saw him and started thinking that there was probably SOME Lorne fic out there in the universe. I'm so glad I came upon your work! Don't stop writing, just keep going until you have to go back to work ;) Do you do Lorne-angst? How about Lorne-whump? I'd also appreciate any Lorne-fic recs. There are some really bad writers out there, and it would be best to avoid them :) Thanks for sharing!
Ki: Lorne sexysomehowunbroken on July 23rd, 2010 03:38 am (UTC)
Re: great writing!
Wow, thanks so much! You're in no danger of finding any McShep here. Anything I've written can be found in the master list on this site - there's a bunch of Lorne stuff in there. As for recs, I'd say check out slashing_lorne because there's a lot of great stuff over there. They're also currently doing a summer fic challenge, so more stuff will be showing up there.

Thanks for the read!

Also... welcome to the dark side. We have Lorne-shaped cookies.
raincoverdleafraincoverdleaf on July 29th, 2010 11:01 pm (UTC)
Love this. " it would appear that i was mistaken" sooo a Rodney thing to say :) *bounce* off to read more of your fics :)
Kisomehowunbroken on July 30th, 2010 12:00 am (UTC)
Glad you enjoyed it :) And yes, I can almost *hear* Rodney saying that...
ariadne83: lorneariadne83 on August 9th, 2010 04:07 am (UTC)
Rodney made a strangled noise in the back of his throat.

“It would appear that I was mistaken.”

Hahaha awesome!
Kisomehowunbroken on August 9th, 2010 03:18 pm (UTC)
Thanks dear!
mackenziesmomma: Lorne 2mackenziesmomma on August 27th, 2010 08:20 am (UTC)
Oh this is just so perfect. Rodney despite his genius definitely had a problem with run on sentences when he spoke then again so do many geniuses. ;)

Love that John got him to shut up though :)
Kisomehowunbroken on August 27th, 2010 08:24 am (UTC)
:) Glad you liked it!
Pixie Child: marvel; UncannyXMen v500 - Pixiefai_dust on September 27th, 2010 05:58 pm (UTC)
This. Was. Brilliant.
Kisomehowunbroken on September 27th, 2010 09:18 pm (UTC)
:D Thanks!