Word count: 947
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate: Atlantis.
Prompt: Lorne/Author's Choice - In an offworld lab Evan gets infused with a pair of wings.
Sheppard burst out laughing as soon as Evan walked through the gate.
“That… is… priceless,” the man gasped out. “Holy shit, Lorne, what did you touch?”
Evan pointed a finger at Dr. Lansing, who was cowering near the corner of the Gate room. “Get him reassigned,” he growled, brushing past Sheppard and heading to the infirmary. This was not going to be fun. This was already not fun.
Dr. Keller gaped – literally gaped, mouth hanging open in shock – when Evan walked up to her, sat on a bed, and asked, “Can you get them off?”
“Major Lorne,” she said, “you have… wings!”
“I’m quite aware of that, Doc,” Evan replied dryly. “Please tell me you can figure out how to get the damn things off.”
“Um,” she answered. “We’ll have to do – tests. I’m not sure how to – I mean, I’ve ever seen anything-” Her hand was fluttering out and back in, almost-but-never-quite brushing against the large, feathered wings sprouting from Evan’s back, and he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.
The wings extended about eight inches over his head, and swept gracefully down to the top of his hips. They were covered in soft, tiny white feathers. He couldn’t fly. He’d already tried.
“Just touch them,” he said to the doctor. “They don’t hurt.”
Dr. Keller reached out hesitantly and brushed her hand gently from the tip of one wing to its bottom. Evan shivered. No, that certainly hadn’t hurt at all. In fact…
“So, can you get them off?” he asked, trying to distract Keller, make sure she didn’t do that again. This was embarrassing enough without her figuring out that the wings were apparently some sort of super-sensitive pleasure zone. He shifted and hunched over, at once giving her a better view of the wings and shielding himself from further embarrassment.
He was in the infirmary for six hours before Dr. Keller let him leave. She had run every test she could think of, drawing more blood than Evan knew he possessed and running more scans than she’d be able to analyze in days. She then sent him off, advising that he “try to go about things as normal.”
With a fuck-off huge pair of wings. Normal. Right.
Evan pasted a glare on his face that had been known to melt Marines in their tracks and walked into the mess hall. Three steps later, the only sounds to be heard were made by his feet as he walked steadily towards the food line, studiously ignoring the fact that everyone was staring quite openly. Evan picked food from the line mechanically, not even really looking at what he was getting, and set his tray at the first empty table he came to. He swept the glare around the room and watched with dim satisfaction as most of the gazes dropped. Sheppard grinned and waved from the other side of the room, mouthing something that Evan was glad he couldn’t distinguish.
“I miss all the good trips,” a voice said, and Evan saw David drop a tray across the table from him and sit. “If I had known it was going to be one of those missions, I would have had Katie look after the Velascare irrambosa.”
Evan stuck his fork into his… macaroni, maybe? He frowned at it before taking a bite. Yeah, macaroni. “I think Lansing’s off the team.”
“Good,” David said, digging into his own questionable pasta. “He was bound to screw up sooner or later. I’m just glad you only got wings. He could have killed you.”
Evan considered this. “True, I guess.” He started to relax for the first time since he’d felt the wings sprout from his back. David had that effect on him.
“So, what are you planning to do with the rest of your day?” David asked as they finished off their plates. Evan snorted.
“Doc says I should try to just go about my daily routines,” he said, and David gave a laugh. “However, since I was supposed to do some training this afternoon and I’m pretty sure that’s a bad idea, I’m gonna take the rest of the day off.”
“You’re not very intimidating at the moment,” David agreed, scooping both trays up and walking with Evan towards the exit. “We could dye them black if you want to be more menacing.”
“I just want to get rid of them,” Evan said, then stilled completely as David turned to throw away their garbage. David’s arm brushed gently back and forth across the edge of his wing, a gossamer, barely-there feeling, and Evan let out a strangled sound.
“Stop moving,” he grated out, and David froze. Evan took two careful steps away from the other man.
“I’m sorry,” David said, turning immediately when he felt Evan move away. “I didn’t realize they were painful.”
“They’re not.” Evan was desperately thinking of un-sexy things. Mold. Ants. Changing his nephew’s diapers. It wasn’t helping; the electric current that David had produced by brushing against him was having a quick and noticeable effect.
“Oh,” David said, clearly puzzled. Then, “Oh.” He shifted slightly, blocking Evan from view of the mess hall, and resumed a normal speaking tone. “Well then, Major, if you’re going to spend the afternoon slacking off and watching movies, I’m going to keep you company.”
Evan managed a nod and walked stiffly from the mess hall to the nearest transporter. David climbed in with him. When the doors shut, he reached out and ran a hand from the tip of one wing to its bottom, exactly as Keller had done hours before, and Evan let out a moan.
David chuckled. “Maybe we’ll skip the movie.”
ETA: Look what nanuk_dain made! It's glaring-at-lunch!wings!Lorne! Thanks so much, dear!
ETA, again: Now with a wing!porn sequel!